Ideological differences

Here’s a question: Can romantic relationships work when the two people are of different politics?

I recall a certain ex-boyfriend who was a dyed-in-the-wool, son on a Union leader, very much a total Labourite. Towards the collapse of that particular relationship, I remember remarking that Boris Johnson would be a welcome change to Red Ken in the upcoming mayoral elections down in London. The force of rebuttal to that suggestion was so fierce that it threw us into a raging argument, with my integrity and judgement being called into question.

Up to that point, we’d got along just fine on the basis that I quite liked Tony because for all his faults, he wasn’t Old Labour, and played enough to the centre ground that it was hard to disagree too much with policy. The Conservatives were in a shambles anyway, and William Hague – the only promising leader they came up with – had ascended the shadow throne far too soon and made a bit of a hash of it.

I suspect in this case it was just another excuse for a fight – we’d been at it from day one, and I should have called time on it before it had got that far, but that’s another story for another day. What was missing in this case was the capability of at least one of us to hold a rational debate and accept the other party’s point of view as valid – whether or not it was agreed with. To me, this seems ridiculous, as I disagree with a number of my friends on a good many things, but that stimulates healthy debate, banter, and general conversational tomfoolery.

The difference is that those conversations are with friends, not lovers. What I want to know is whether it is possible to sustain a relationship when you both disagree on something as fundamental as your political ideals.