Quote of the day

"Gordon Brown has been tested and found in want of almost every attribute a leader needs. Squalid dealings by his poisonous inner circle were exposed to the light of day; yet at the same time he lacks a leader's necessary political cunning. Many hoped that the end of the rivalry with Blair would see Brown cast off his myrmidons. He didn't. In the tussle between his better and his worse selves, too often the lesser man won."

-Polly Toynbee, The Grauniad.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is called irony.

Draper is draped. Again.

Courtesy of John Redwood, Derek Draper makes himself (and his party) look silly. Again. This time over the economy. I really wonder how New Labour have achieved the level of self delusion over their handling of the economy while they have been in Government.

As an aside, I noticed that Gordon Brown said at PMQs on Wednesday that the Tories would cut pensions. At least I think that's what he said. I was a bit too busy spluttering my coffee to be sure. Excuse me for having a woolly memory, but something about a change in the tax structure in 1997, something about raiding private sector pensions... Wasn't that you?

On Gilts, PMQs, and a good old-fashioned roasting

Is the end nigh?

Gordon's Gilt sale has failed to find any buyers out on the market. It can't have been helped by Mervyn King challenging further spending by the reckless Brown, plus the UK isn't the only Government issuing debt, but this ought to be scaring the bejeezus out of the Treasury. I don't see Gordon getting too worried, he is after all, off playing Superman, and will probably think of some excuse to console himself.

Meanwhile, Hattie was demolished by a laconic Hague and Cable in PMQs today. Shame that Hague didn't stick the knife in and twist with is usually rapier wit, even if he did score a few points. More telling was Hattie banging on about "do nothing Tories" and a "millionaire's manifesto". Though the informed (or remotely intelligent) will see through them as the utter fabrications that they are, the lowest common denominator has an uncanny knack for buying in to cheap soundbites. It worked for Tony long enough.

Speaking of demolishing people, Dan Hannan 1 - Gordon Brown 0. After his speech at the EU Parliament, the PM was skewered, basted and roasted in the space of three sweet and incisive minutes. I know I'm a little late to the party on this one, having been covered elsewhere, but if you fancy seeing an intelligent man dismantle a deluded one, click here.

Relax, there's probably no recession

Devil's Kitchen has found the single most hilarious widget I've seen all day.

Check it out here.

Have a play, see what you can come up with... it's not like we're going to be short of ammunition.

Independent has some independent thinking...

Two very good articles on the Indy website today - one pointing out the spinelessness of politicians in their response to 'pakigate', the other a witty submission to the credit crisis and delusion of Flash Gordon's economic policy. Worth a read.

LabourList

With the launch of LabourList, the left-wing blogosphere hopes to find its answer to the successful and much lauded ConservativeHome. Guido, Dizzy, DK, ConHome and many more of the right-wing bloggers have already taken the time to offer their advice, support and comments/criticisms in what has generally appeared a magnanimous display. I won't add to what they have said, but I did take the time to have a look at some of the entries, and the first blog by Peter Mandelson was too hard to resist.

He happens to mention that:

"I have blogged before, when I was a European Commissioner at the WTO Doha Ministerial
meeting in Geneva last July, and I enjoyed it. But in this, my first UK political blog, I want to say something about how we get our message out in these modern times."

Yes indeed, I'm sure you do Peter. Modern times indeed...

Of course, one wag couldn't resist that bait, which rather proved the case in point (emphasis added by me):

"Your claims to have blogged before and enjoyed it are a little inflated, surely? The realm of the blog, unlike simply having an article published in a newspaper, is that it is interactive. To do it right you need to engage with those who comment, and to be willing to support your initial argument or statements when they are questioned. I look forward to this, but suspect there's more chance of photographing pigs flying in formation.

The Ranting Penguin @ 8:01 am, Mon 12th Jan 2009

You couldn't be more wrong "Mr. Ranting Penguin"? I am enjoying reading the comments and once I have attended the government's job summit this morning I will be responding to them, even from those people with rather odd names...

Peter Mandelson @ 8:13 am, Mon 12th Jan 2009"

Are you sure you've blogged before, Mandy?

Correspondent's Diary, Lagos - Day Three

Lagos is hazy in the morning, a persistent cloud that shrouds the air, though the sun still beats through. It is the time of the harmattan, dust carried on the wind from the deserts of the north. It is ever-present, but only seems to affect the air high above. At ground level the air is balmy, if humid.

Chris accompanied me out to the Federal Hotel where I was to exchange £500 Sterling into Naira. My mother reckoned the exchange rate was about 206 to the pound, at least according to the internet. I had envisaged walking in to the hotel lobby where there would be official travel exchanges set up. I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

We arrived at the hotel and Chris led me to some wooden huts set up outside the hotel. They looked like market stalls, filled with fabric, threadbare chairs and local carvings. I got the impression from Chris that he knew one of the guys here was better than the rest, and we went inside. I left the talking to Chris, sensing that this was not the time to flex my negotiating skills.

After a few moments of barter and chuckles – two I didn’t exactly expect to go together – Chris beckoned me to come outside, then asked me again what the rate on the internet was. He nodded when I told him, then he took me back in and spoke to the guy again. After a few minutes he motioned to me and I pulled out the sterling, counting it out to Chris, who checked it and handed it to the trader, who did his own count. Several rolls of Naira were handed to me, and I stashed them out of sight after a quick check.

Heading back to the car, Chris explained that the traders knew the internet rate and would immediately offer that to ‘Whitey’, but he knew they did this and would negotiate with them for a better rate. Sure enough, he got us 210. Doesn’t sound like much, but it amounted to an extra 2000 Naira, which at present rates is about £10. Worth the few minutes of bargaining.

After my Dad finished work we headed to the yacht club again, and Elias, the assistant Bosun who also looks after the Tarpons, helped us push my Dad’s GP14 in to the water. He and I had a quick sail on a close reach, broad reach and a run, then back to the club. The winds were dying and as most of the boat-boys had gone home early we had no safety boat. Getting stuck against an ebb tide with scant wind wasn’t on our list of things to do, so sensibly we got the boat back out the water and de-rigged.

We had arranged to meet up with two of the other expats later on in the evening at an English place called Pat’s Bar. It was your classic English home-away-from-home sports bar, and the kind I usually avoid like the plague. It was also filled with mosquitos, though not the malarial biting kind. Some very svelte Nigerian girls were in, with a clear objective on their minds that would inevitably involve a transaction of some kind.

Not a transaction I was interested in making. Unfortunately, with homosexuality being rather illegal over in Nigeria, playing the gay card wasn’t really a viable option. Instead I just had to grin through their attentions and play along, knowing that at least I had some backup and an escape route. My brother fared a little better than I, having experienced the phenomena in Thailand.

For my part, I wasn’t at all sorry when we called home-time and headed for the safety of our Toyota 4x4.

You what?!

Seriously, how dumb do some people have to be?

Benecio del Toro seems to think that it's okay to support mass-murdering fuck-heads (to use Eddie Izzard's phraseology).

Further evidence that intelligence is not a prerequisite for film stars. If he was talking about Stalin or Hitler he'd be creating a PR disaster, except that the general public are blithely unaware that the bearded cigar-smoking motorcyling one was a brutal killer and enemy of freedom and liberty.

Eye of Newt

Last night, my friend Tom and I indulged in a little theatre of the musical variety. I first saw The Witches of Eastwick at the Prince of Wales in London when I was 18, on a summer school at Guildford School of Acting. Yes, in my younger and more vulnerable years I was of a thespian bent, and this was a theme that carried on through into student theatre while at University (in Glasvegas, no less).

About a month or so ago I spotted a posted for the current tour, starring Marti Pellow as Darryl Van Horne. Having never quite forgiven the Rocking Revs at school for murdering ‘Love Is All Around’ I was torn as to whether I would risk it, but remembering how much I enjoyed it those years ago, I suggested it to Tom and then booked us tickets.

I have to admit I was a little excited. It has been ages since I last went to the theatre, and the Playhouse in Edinburgh is a quaint little affair, all dark wood, red paint and gilted cornicing. In other words, it really does give you that theatrical buzz. My only regret was that I didn’t pick up a packet of Fruit Pastilles at the refreshments stall, something that was synonymous with a visit to the theatre as a child.

The production itself was excellent. Working with quite a small stage area, they had a compact set that filled the space well without swamping it. The orchestra were spot on, and the chorus were fantastic. One blonde lad particularly stood out, and Tom noted wryly that if his Fitlads profile was anything to go by, he wasn’t half as innocent as he looked. Had a bit of the Jude Law circa Talented Mister Ripley about him.

The stars of the show were, by far and away, the three witches: Alexandra, Jane and Sukie. Jane entirely stole it for me, with real presence and a simmering sauciness she unleashed with absolute abandon.

Marti Pellow, as Tom put it in the interval, came across a bit more the Devil’s nephew rather than the man himself. I couldn’t help but agree. He seemed skittish and lacked depth, his antics on stage obscene rather than seductive. Vocally, as you might expect, he acquitted himself well, but he wasn’t the saucy devil he should have been. To be fair, he came back quite strongly in the second half, but that was largely down to his signature piece ‘Dance with the Devil’, which suited his overly energetic style.

All that said, it was a bloody good laugh and I really enjoyed it. Wasn’t as good as it could have been, but then I never understood the casting of Jack Nicholson in the movie. He just wasn’t sexy, and at least Marti cut a dashing, increasingly dishevelled figure as the show progressed. Definitely worth a pop if you can catch it. Good songs, some great harmonies coming from the girls, and a solid performance from the leads.

And I really liked the look of that blonde lad in the chorus, did I mention he was fit?

It's official: Gordon Brown is the saviour of the world (in his own mind)

Priceless.

The worst of it is that this little freudian slip is probably what he tells himself every night over prudent milk and cookies.

Even the BBC found it hard to put a pro-labour spin on this one.

1205: David Cameron starts by sending his condolences to the soldier's family. He asks how the government is going to get the banks to lend to businesses. He says Bank of England Governor Mervyn King has said recapitalisation should ensure the flow of lending returns to normal rates. Mr Cameron said on this basis the PM's plan has failed. In his reply Mr Brown says he has saved the banks, then raises laughter by accidentally saying he has "saved the world".

Flash! Ah-ah, saviour of the universe...